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An unidentifiable anxiety creeps in now that the unspoken has been said, but an iota of relief is sparked too. “Tell me, Corrine, have I given you the impression that I'm going anywhere?” Before I can answer, he adds more forcefully, “What is it that you want?” “No, Patrick, you’ve never wavered. You’ve always been there for me… for me and Addie…” My voice trails off as I think back to the day in England when Addie fell off her horse while the two were out for a ride. It had terrified him seeing her so helpless, yet he’d taken care of her and the two now seemed to have a bond independent of me. A new realization dawns. You’re not protecting Addie - you’re protecting yourself. “Shit,” I groan. “What’s going on, sweet girl?” His voice has softened. “I think I've been keeping you away at night under the guise of protecting Addie, when it was really me that I was looking out for.” “What are you worried about… shit, I hate having this conversation over the telephone.” “I know, I’m sorry.”. ? Apartner.? She wanted a man who would make her really feel like a woman. Rachel slapped her palm down on the table to emphasize a point.? Javier didn?tflinch.? As he listened he admired both her strength and her beauty.? They had met the year before during their first days in the graduate program.? They?d shareda class, traded lecture notes, studied together.?They had become close friends.? He was just asstrong and self assured as she but in a quieter, less flamboyant way.? She continued to talk; he listened and continued to say nothing. An hour later Rachel finally ran out of steam.? Javier nodded thoughtfully and let the silence build.? Then something happened that had never happened before.? She asked for his advice.? Oh,she?d asked for and he?d given her lots of general advice about textbooks, travel, taxes.? But she?d neverbefore asked for his opinion about her personal life. ?What should I do, Javier?? Joina dating service?? Take out an ad in the personals??What?? I can?t go.
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